Friday, August 31, 2012

That place in my life.

I know I've already posted twice today, but per a request from my BFF (I hate that term, but I can't stop using it! I started saying it all the time just to be irritating, but karma took over and now I'm an addict) Elissa, I've decided to just pour out my brain.
To start out I want you to watch this:


No one likes being alone. 
No one wants to be alone. 
This summer I've realized that even though my ultimate goal is to find that special guy and marry the crap out of him, that time isn't now. Sometimes you just need to not.
You need to not see that person.
You need to not answer that phone call.
You need to not respond that that text.
You need to not hang out with those people.
You need to not be with that person.
You need to not be a part of that life for a little while.

That's where I am. 
I'm not ready for anything serious.
I want to date a guy with a mustache,
and a guy with a motorcycle,
and a lawyer 
and a hippy.
I want to go on silly adventures.
I want to flirt shamelessly with the guy next door.
I want to grow up 
one
day 
at 
time.

I need things to slow down.
I graduate in December for goodness sake!
My life has been all planned out to this point. 
I graduated high school and went to college.
I will be getting my degree and starting my career.
What now? 

Now, I'm going to take bubble baths.
I'm going to wear crazy makeup
or maybe no makeup at all.
I'm going to paint my fingernails.
I'm going to spend time with people that I know from somewhere other than school.
I'm going to get a passport.
I'm going to see the world. 
I'm going to do humanitarian work. 
I'm going to hike lots of mountains.
I'm going to run a half marathon. 
I'm going to kiss a stranger and run away.
I'm going to get lost.
I'm going to go on a road trip and stop at every geographical and historical site along the way.
Maybe I'll even fall in like a few times.


I'm going to breathe.
I'm going to learn how to let go.
I'm going to figure out who I am.
I need to figure out who I am.
I need to learn how to be alone. 

3 comments:

  1. Careful what you say! I was going to date a ton, work someplace awesome, then go on a mission, come home and marry Mr. Right. That didn't happen exactly as I pictured it. (not that I'm complaining... Just saying your life map may lead you differently than you thought)

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  2. You met Tyler before your last semester at school, though! haha No, I totally know what you mean!

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