Friday, August 31, 2012

A little more


That place in my life.

I know I've already posted twice today, but per a request from my BFF (I hate that term, but I can't stop using it! I started saying it all the time just to be irritating, but karma took over and now I'm an addict) Elissa, I've decided to just pour out my brain.
To start out I want you to watch this:

No one likes being alone. 
No one wants to be alone. 
This summer I've realized that even though my ultimate goal is to find that special guy and marry the crap out of him, that time isn't now. Sometimes you just need to not.
You need to not see that person.
You need to not answer that phone call.
You need to not respond that that text.
You need to not hang out with those people.
You need to not be with that person.
You need to not be a part of that life for a little while.

That's where I am. 
I'm not ready for anything serious.
I want to date a guy with a mustache,
and a guy with a motorcycle,
and a lawyer 
and a hippy.
I want to go on silly adventures.
I want to flirt shamelessly with the guy next door.
I want to grow up 

I need things to slow down.
I graduate in December for goodness sake!
My life has been all planned out to this point. 
I graduated high school and went to college.
I will be getting my degree and starting my career.
What now? 

Now, I'm going to take bubble baths.
I'm going to wear crazy makeup
or maybe no makeup at all.
I'm going to paint my fingernails.
I'm going to spend time with people that I know from somewhere other than school.
I'm going to get a passport.
I'm going to see the world. 
I'm going to do humanitarian work. 
I'm going to hike lots of mountains.
I'm going to run a half marathon. 
I'm going to kiss a stranger and run away.
I'm going to get lost.
I'm going to go on a road trip and stop at every geographical and historical site along the way.
Maybe I'll even fall in like a few times.

I'm going to breathe.
I'm going to learn how to let go.
I'm going to figure out who I am.
I need to figure out who I am.
I need to learn how to be alone. 

One time.

This happened in real life. 
and it was awesome. 

Breaking up is hard to do

Breaking up with your boyfriend. It's the worst. Do you know what's even more awful, though? Breaking up with your not boyfriend. Geez Louise. Get ready for the ride of your life.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Goal. Achieved.

I have a minor obsession with Pinterest so for weeks, months really, I've wanted to accomplish the great impossible: to create a pin and have it become so popular that it gets spread around all of the internet and I become a Pinterest sensation! Okay, so I went a little too far with that, but how cool would it be to see your face or something you created under the Popular page on Pinterest? Ummm EXCITING! So, today, in order to reach this dream, I created two pins using some of my favorite pictures! So far only one other person has repinned them, but I'm feeling especially satisfied with my work! Check them out if you get a chance and help spread them around!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

a reminder

I think sometimes we just need someone there to hold our hand and remind us everything is going to be okay.

Monday, August 27, 2012

The Tale of the Title

I imagine you've been wondering why on earth someone would name their personal blog something so unorthodox and a bit uncouth as the Bathroom Chronicles. Okay, let's be real, I'm sure maybe only one of the three people that habitually read my blog even care. Nevertheless, I've decided to share some... personal... stories with you to explain myself. If you have a queasy stomach or consider yourself classy you may want to stop here. I can hear my mom moaning in embarrassment from here.

You see, I have a problem.
I pee.
A lot.
On the side of the road
the back of a bus
behind a shed
in port-a-potty's;
I don't have the luxury of being picky about where I go.
I just have to go.
and when I have to go
I HAVE to go.

My record so far is 18 times in one day. 
That's pathetic. 

It's just that I love water. 
I live for water.
I drink water like a drought is coming.
Maybe my Loop of Henle is shorter than yours.
Maybe my kidneys are too efficient.
Whatever the case, I spend a lot a time in the bathroom.
It has become my place of solace;
the place I go to when life gets hard 
or scary
or crazy.
It's where I go to think,
to pray,
to cry.
 So, as I set out to make a blog
I wanted something original.
I wanted something memorable.
I wanted something that described me.
That's how I got The Bathroom Chronicles.
My best thinking comes while locked up in that blessed room
so I thought I'd share those thoughts with all of you
and the name stuck.
So here we are today.
I'm sitting at work waiting for someone to take over for me
so I can run to the ladies room real fast
and things are getting pretty iffy.


Thursday, August 23, 2012

Go Figure

Do you remember that DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie); the one with the figure skater that has to play hockey to get help from this incredible Russian ice skating trainer... yeah yeah... I know I'm a freak. Anyway, this is actually completely irrelevant to what I had intended to write about. The point is, I've figured out my problem.
Here it is:
I think I'm hilarious.
No one else does.

I mean seriously! I'm a modern day
Tina Fey.
She is modern day.
I'm like the reincarnation of Lucille Ball.
Hold on, is she even dead?
Oh whatever.

Go figure.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Neature Walk

I saw some nature today. It was pretty  neat.

There is something magical about being up in the mountains all alone 
experiencing nature at its best. 
I can think.
I can breathe (when I'm not dying of heat)
I can figure my life out.

Now THAT is pretty neat. 

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Running Away

Growing up.
Becoming responsible.
I can't run away.
I can't pretend things haven't happened.
I can't ignore the truth.
I have to go back.
I have to face life.
I can't hide forever in my room. 
or my books
or my music.
I have to live in this world. 
 I have to live with my choices.
I have to live. 

Something that I've had to learn as I get older is that 
the things I want to run from the most are the things 
that I grow from the most.
It sucks.
Usually tears are involved.
I spend a lot of time running on the treadmill 
to make up for the fact that I couldn't run 
from my problems. 
From my life.

In case you were wondering,
growing up is overrated. 

I want him to make me feel wanted

He is yum. 

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Fat Monica Dance

I love that my dancing and Fat Monica dancing is the same. 

Harry Potter Birthday Party

Happy Birthday to me... about two weeks ago!
ANNNDDD Happy 200th post! Horray! I've been saving this post because I thought there was something sweetly sentimental about having my 200th post be about my 20th birthday. So here it is. I hope you're as excited as me.
Back to the big stuff, though, for my 20th birthday I decided to throw myself and the one and only Harry Potter a combined birthday party seeing as we share the magical day.
Here's what you missed.
Pumpkin Pasties, Cauldron Cakes, Golden Snitches, and Pretzel Wands. Delish. 


Some serious volleyball skills

cute ladies. 

Eye lerve hur two tha mune an bak. 

They're in love or something. 

I think Darin might be flipping someone off. Oops. 

She's never even seen Harry Potter. She must love me. 

Mitch is a Golden Snitch and Shay is the Invisibility Cloak.
My friends are really clever. 

First kiss of the night.... uh what?

True love... or fear... either one...
I cannot believe I'm twenty! I feel old and weird. I can't use the fact that I'm a teenager as an excuse anymore. I had an absolutely fantastic wedding.
 AH oh my gosh, 
I'm watching Runaway Bride and 
they're talking about weddings. 
That's hilarious! 
Call it a Freudian Slip. 
Call it whatever you want. 
It's hilarious. 

Anyway, my birthday was a complete success and just another reminder my friends are incredible. 

Friday, August 3, 2012


There are few things in life worse than accidentally giving away one of your favorite (and new) shirts to D.I.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Catching up

As my dear Mariah would say OMG OMG!
Watch this and you'll know a little bit how my life has been lately.
School is out.
Summer has begun.

First World Problems

My current situation.
Kill me now.

Okay okay, don't really kill me now. 

The Fever's back