Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Chapter 61- Yep, twice in an hour

Oh hey again.
I feel like running 17 miles.
My brain feels like oatmeal.
My ponytail is too tight.
I hate writing research papers.
This song makes me feel better!

Chapter 60- Definitely not wanting to do anything

Hi, my name is Camille and I have officially had a full, real life, adult relationship. Cue the applause. Ya see, I don't do relationships. I'm the queen of first dates and no double dipping. I'm okay with that. I get free food and lots of awkward stories, but all good things must come to an end right? I mean, it was really a miracle that I dated anyone no matter the length of time and what an awesome experience it was. I would highly recommend dating someone and then NOT getting your heartbroken. Apparently that's the only way I know how to do it and I'm not keen on the idea of changing that.
I was chatting with my brother about the whole experience with my ex-boyfriend (weird) and he said that whilst reading my blog he got the impression that I had been head over heels in love with this boy and had pretty much started planning our wedding. This is false and now I feel the need to explain myself.
Once upon a time, I, Camille Louise, am a huge drama queen. To be frank, I really was delusionally happy, but I was never in love. I don't fall in love. Even after dating this kid for almost two months I never gave my heart away. I never had some kind of deep emotional connection with him. I don't do that or, more accurately, I don't know how to do that. This guy treated me amazingly, as you well know, and I'm so blessed to have dated him. For a while there I had the world on a string. I was as happy as a lark (don't understand that phrase? No worries, click on the word and I have got you covered!). Soon the glitter faded and I realized that we were just really different people- emotionally, spiritually, morally, ethically.... any other -allys. I knew that things weren't going to progress any further, so I cut things off. We're still friends. We text, we talk, we are fine.
So, what have I learned? Oh boy, let me pull out the number list thing-

  1. I need to be friends with a guy first
  2. I need someone that will let me be silly
  3. I'm not ready to settle down, I've got a lot to learn
  4. If he doesn't love my laugh, then we have got to have a serious talk
  5. There is a difference between being compatible and having chemistry
  6. There is also a difference in getting along with someone and being capable of having a relationship
  7. Never settle for someone I can live with, go for someone I can't live without
  8. I need someone that will encourage me to be a better person
  9. I want to be able to act like an idiot everyday
  10. I'm kind of crazy
  11. I still have a hard time building trust with people
  12. Never ever ever waver in your values
  13. I NEED spontaneity
  14. I still hate shaving my legs
  15. Please, no more movie nights!
  16. For some reason I become extremely passive once I'm in a relationship. Suddenly, I just don't care about having an opinion about anything. That's not okay. I need to remain my spunky, sassy, sarcastic self. 
  17. Life is crazy.
  18. Relationships are interesting
  19. Prayers get answered
  20. I need to take things slow otherwise I feel a loss of control
  21. Laughing makes any situation better

Monday, March 26, 2012

Chapter 59- Homework is too daunting so I'm blogging instead

1. post rules of the game so no one gets lost.
2. post a photo and 11 random things about yourself.
3. answer questions that were given you by tagger.
4. ask some questions for those you tag to answer
5. tag some people to do this all over again.

  1. Ever since I won a free ice cream sundae from getting the "winning gumball" I have been obsessed with gumballs. I can fit five in my mouth at one time.
  2. I go through a box of cereal every week
  3. It takes me ten minutes to blow dry my hair... so most days I just don't do it. 
  4. I've recently embraced a more natural look. This includes not wearing eyeliner and just plastering on mascara!
  5. I cry four times while watching Titanic
  6. My hair is almost "mermaid long"
  7. I don't believe in deodorant, but sometimes I wear it so that people won't judge me

1. what was your favorite birthday party and why?
My mom threw me an "unbirthday party" in the middle of February my senior year of high school because my birthday is the last day of July and people are never around. I was SO surprised! It was so fun to have so many people show up to surprise me and I just felt super loved. 
2. rings or necklaces?
rings... but I don't have many
3. weirdest recent dream?
my sister was obese! As in, so so so fat and I was a complete wreck about it. I couldn't believe she was so hugenormous and then the grocery store was having some kind of weird contest and I kept on switching back and forth between being one person and then being myself. Creepy weird. 
4. first crush?
Leonardo Di Caprio. It was during Titanic (I'm obsessed) when I was like five years old that I had the realization that heck, guys are cute. Not only is Leo cute in Titanic but he sets my heart a flutter to this very day! Holla, if you are going to be at the Premiere of the release in 3D! I might cry. 
5. who do you go to when you're sad?
My computer. I write out every thought and feeling as fast as my fingers can type. Then, if I still feel crappy, I will call my Lisa. 
6. if you could do one thing right now, what would it be?
Hit the fetal position and sleep. Then I would go running.
7. current favorite song/artist?
Cameras by Matt and Kim or ANYTHING by the Killers
8. favorite midnight snack?
Oh, this is a tricky one! Usually I settle for some sliced deli meat thanks to Hillshire Farms or a piece of bread with  jam on it. Never toasted. 
9. guilty pleasure?
Brownies. Oh my, homemade brownies are a gift from the gods, but I'm really not as partial to the ones that you buy at the store! They edges aren't as crispy and I'm left feeling a bit disappointed. 
10. thing you do when you procrastinate?
Eat dry cereal straight from the box. It really doesn't matter what kind although I prefer shredded wheat. I just can't get over the cardboard flavor of those frosted little biscuits. I also will talk to people. I don't care who they are or what they're doing I will begin to talk and they usually will begin to listen. Usually. 
(anything on the internet doesn't count)
11. if you could say one thing to the world what would it be?
Be who you are and love it. There are too many people that are concerned about what people think about them, but all that really matters is that  you are happy with who you are. If you like yourself, others will unconsciously begin to like you as well. You are a child of God and that is all that matters.

Questions for you-
1. If you could have one signature dance move what would it be?
2. If you could eat one thing without getting fat or ugly what would it be?
3. What would you tell yourself 5 years ago?
4. What makes you cry?
5. Celebrity crush?
6. If you had anyone's hair who would it be and why?
7. Dream concert?
8. Favorite childhood tv show?
9. How do you want other people to view you?
10. What do you do when you are having a bad day to feel better?
11. What was your childhood dream?

Tag- Amanda, Amy, Beka, Amberly, and anyone else in the whole world that wants to! Go for it ladies!

Friday, March 23, 2012

Chapter 58- Singled Out

Single and happy.

I have had my first real adult relationship come and go and I honestly am completely satisfied with everything that took place. He is an incredible guy. He is so different from me. To be frank, we are just two different people that are too different. I felt more like he was my best friend than my boyfriend, but I have no bitter feelings. I have no heartache. I lost my muchness. I lost so much of the crazy spontaneity that makes me me. You know, I've decided I don't deserve mediocrity. I deserve to be completely insanely myself around someone and I lost that with Him. I want to be delusionally happy for more than a week. I want to find someone that I can be silly around and act like a crazy fool and just not care. I want people to be freaked out by how weird we are. Who knows when that will happen but...
yes yes yes. no mediocre love.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Chapter 57- Buckets of fun

Bucket list- put gum on this wall