Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Chapter 31- Gamer

I've gone over it again and again in my mind; what I would say if he brought it up, if by some minute chance he called to apologize. Would he even call or would would he show up to explain himself to me face to face? I don't know what would be worse. I keep rewording things, trying to find the right words. I want to be sassy. I want him to regret what he did so that maybe he'll change, maybe he'll stop playing games. I want to call him out for being a player and make him see his folly, but I won't. I'm going to smile. I'm going to brush him off telling him it's no big deal. I'll say I know what I was getting myself into when I went into it. Doesn't he know I was warned about him? Doesn't he know what people say about him when he's not around? So, it's fine. It was fun. That why I went for it wasn't it? It was all in my mind, after all, because there's no way I was going to give him more than that. I wasn't going to let him win.
I'd love to give him a piece of my mind now. I want to tell him not to worry about leading me on because I wasn't really into it anyway. I want to tell him that I understand he's looking for something specific and if a girl doesn't fit that mold he'll just drop them. I want to make it sting. I want to leave him stunned. I want to hurt him, but I won't. The truth is he doesn't deserve that, at least not from me. He didn't hurt me. He didn't get under my skin, because I didn't let him. He never earned my trust even if he gained my admiration. It's hard to be played if you never enter the game. So, I'm going to smile and I'm going to walk away.


1 comment:

  1. Cami, your posts are so vague I don't ever really know what's even going on! Come on lady, you've gotta give me more than that! :)