Chapter 40- You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce

I

miss

all the

Christmas

spirit from

my childhood;

that comforting

feeling of magic in

the air. You felt it in

your bones. There was

the giddy excitement from

not knowing what you might

get. Everyone glowed, because

back then everyone remembered

the real reason behind the holidays.

Now, I don't understand Christmas. It

isn't the same Christmas as when I was

little and there was something truly sacred

about this season. Now, frustration fills the air

as people bustle about looking for the perfect gift

that they know they don't have the money for, and

then they settle for something that's not needed. Now

Christmas morning comes, the presents are opened and

then what? There are no surprises.. You plaster on a smile

so your family will think you really do "love it!" but then the

rest of the day is spent making piles of what needs to be taken

back and then finding the correct receipts. Now, Christmas lasts

an hour, maybe two, and then the rest of the day is just ordinary.

Christmas shouldn't be ordinary. Christmas should be extraordinary.

Christmas shouldn't be about generic electronics and another ill fitting

sweater. Christmas should be about playing another round of Phase Ten

and passing around the half-eaten box of chocolates. Christmas should be

white. Christmas is supposed be enchanted. It should be special, but it isn't.

Now, Christmas is a disappointment. My heart breaks because something has

changed. I suppose I might be the one who's changed. Perhaps I expect too much.

Perhaps, I have gotten lost along the way to adulthood. I just know that Christmas

isn't about presents. It isn't about how much money is spent or remembering to pick

up the honey baked ham. Christmas is about spending time as a family. After all, they

are the whole reason we're here. Families are why He was born; the reason he lived and

died. Without Him we are fallen, and without families we are lost. So, maybe my soul is an

appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish

imaginable,

mangled up

in tangled up

knots, but...