I was chatting with my brother about the whole experience with my ex-boyfriend (weird) and he said that whilst reading my blog he got the impression that I had been head over heels in love with this boy and had pretty much started planning our wedding. This is false and now I feel the need to explain myself.
Once upon a time, I, Camille Louise, am a huge drama queen. To be frank, I really was delusionally happy, but I was never in love. I don't fall in love. Even after dating this kid for almost two months I never gave my heart away. I never had some kind of deep emotional connection with him. I don't do that or, more accurately, I don't know how to do that. This guy treated me amazingly, as you well know, and I'm so blessed to have dated him. For a while there I had the world on a string. I was as happy as a lark (don't understand that phrase? No worries, click on the word and I have got you covered!). Soon the glitter faded and I realized that we were just really different people- emotionally, spiritually, morally, ethically.... any other -allys. I knew that things weren't going to progress any further, so I cut things off. We're still friends. We text, we talk, we are fine.
So, what have I learned? Oh boy, let me pull out the number list thing-
- I need to be friends with a guy first
- I need someone that will let me be silly
- I'm not ready to settle down, I've got a lot to learn
- If he doesn't love my laugh, then we have got to have a serious talk
- There is a difference between being compatible and having chemistry
- There is also a difference in getting along with someone and being capable of having a relationship
- Never settle for someone I can live with, go for someone I can't live without
- I need someone that will encourage me to be a better person
- I want to be able to act like an idiot everyday
- I'm kind of crazy
- I still have a hard time building trust with people
- Never ever ever waver in your values
- I NEED spontaneity
- I still hate shaving my legs
- Please, no more movie nights!
- For some reason I become extremely passive once I'm in a relationship. Suddenly, I just don't care about having an opinion about anything. That's not okay. I need to remain my spunky, sassy, sarcastic self.
- Life is crazy.
- Relationships are interesting
- Prayers get answered
- I need to take things slow otherwise I feel a loss of control
- Laughing makes any situation better