Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Chapter 60- Definitely not wanting to do anything

Hi, my name is Camille and I have officially had a full, real life, adult relationship. Cue the applause. Ya see, I don't do relationships. I'm the queen of first dates and no double dipping. I'm okay with that. I get free food and lots of awkward stories, but all good things must come to an end right? I mean, it was really a miracle that I dated anyone no matter the length of time and what an awesome experience it was. I would highly recommend dating someone and then NOT getting your heartbroken. Apparently that's the only way I know how to do it and I'm not keen on the idea of changing that.
I was chatting with my brother about the whole experience with my ex-boyfriend (weird) and he said that whilst reading my blog he got the impression that I had been head over heels in love with this boy and had pretty much started planning our wedding. This is false and now I feel the need to explain myself.
Once upon a time, I, Camille Louise, am a huge drama queen. To be frank, I really was delusionally happy, but I was never in love. I don't fall in love. Even after dating this kid for almost two months I never gave my heart away. I never had some kind of deep emotional connection with him. I don't do that or, more accurately, I don't know how to do that. This guy treated me amazingly, as you well know, and I'm so blessed to have dated him. For a while there I had the world on a string. I was as happy as a lark (don't understand that phrase? No worries, click on the word and I have got you covered!). Soon the glitter faded and I realized that we were just really different people- emotionally, spiritually, morally, ethically.... any other -allys. I knew that things weren't going to progress any further, so I cut things off. We're still friends. We text, we talk, we are fine.
So, what have I learned? Oh boy, let me pull out the number list thing-

  1. I need to be friends with a guy first
  2. I need someone that will let me be silly
  3. I'm not ready to settle down, I've got a lot to learn
  4. If he doesn't love my laugh, then we have got to have a serious talk
  5. There is a difference between being compatible and having chemistry
  6. There is also a difference in getting along with someone and being capable of having a relationship
  7. Never settle for someone I can live with, go for someone I can't live without
  8. I need someone that will encourage me to be a better person
  9. I want to be able to act like an idiot everyday
  10. I'm kind of crazy
  11. I still have a hard time building trust with people
  12. Never ever ever waver in your values
  13. I NEED spontaneity
  14. I still hate shaving my legs
  15. Please, no more movie nights!
  16. For some reason I become extremely passive once I'm in a relationship. Suddenly, I just don't care about having an opinion about anything. That's not okay. I need to remain my spunky, sassy, sarcastic self. 
  17. Life is crazy.
  18. Relationships are interesting
  19. Prayers get answered
  20. I need to take things slow otherwise I feel a loss of control
  21. Laughing makes any situation better

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