Monday, June 11, 2012

Dear you,

I dreamt about you again last night. I don't know why I can't get over you; I just can't. I can’t help it. I can’t help but think about you anytime I hear your name or see someone with the same color of hair or hear that infectious laugh. It's pathetic really. It's as if you just keep coming up. Everywhere I go, everything I see reminds me of you. I wish I could block out those memories; just forget about everything, but I don't want to. I don't need to. Those memories are so good. Even now as I think back upon the adventures we had together, the moments when everything seemed ethereally perfect, I can't help but smile. So, why do I feel this way? Why am I full of feelings of regret at the things I left unsaid, the things that I never felt needed to be said?
Things are getting harder. The more space and time that comes between us the more I realize you've become a mere figment of my imagination. Reality has faded. I've forgotten this simple, but blatantly obvious truth; we've grown up and grown apart. We've become adults with responsibilities and experiences that have shaped us into the people we are; people so different from the kids we were.
I wish you were here. I shouldn't. You're not. You're a world away, a world that you are supposed to be in. Maybe I'm just lonely. Maybe I just want a Someone, not a You. Something about that doesn't feel right though, because that's not me. I'm independent. I'm crazy, obnoxious, loud and fun. I don't need a Someone. I don't need a You. I guess I just need a Me.

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