Monday, August 27, 2012

The Tale of the Title

I imagine you've been wondering why on earth someone would name their personal blog something so unorthodox and a bit uncouth as the Bathroom Chronicles. Okay, let's be real, I'm sure maybe only one of the three people that habitually read my blog even care. Nevertheless, I've decided to share some... personal... stories with you to explain myself. If you have a queasy stomach or consider yourself classy you may want to stop here. I can hear my mom moaning in embarrassment from here.

You see, I have a problem.
I pee.
A lot.
On the side of the road
the back of a bus
behind a shed
in port-a-potty's;
I don't have the luxury of being picky about where I go.
I just have to go.
and when I have to go
I HAVE to go.

My record so far is 18 times in one day. 
That's pathetic. 

It's just that I love water. 
I live for water.
I drink water like a drought is coming.
Maybe my Loop of Henle is shorter than yours.
Maybe my kidneys are too efficient.
Whatever the case, I spend a lot a time in the bathroom.
It has become my place of solace;
the place I go to when life gets hard 
or scary
or crazy.
It's where I go to think,
to pray,
to cry.
 So, as I set out to make a blog
I wanted something original.
I wanted something memorable.
I wanted something that described me.
That's how I got The Bathroom Chronicles.
My best thinking comes while locked up in that blessed room
so I thought I'd share those thoughts with all of you
and the name stuck.
So here we are today.
I'm sitting at work waiting for someone to take over for me
so I can run to the ladies room real fast
and things are getting pretty iffy.


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